Song of Surrender

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Season 2020

By V. Ramnarayan
 
(A tongue-in-cheek, wildly unrealistic forecast, with malice towards none)
 
I often wonder what Season 2020 will be like. Nine more years will have passed, but ancient arguments will still be playing, with all the complex niraval, fiery swaraprastara and thunderous tani avartanam that accompanied the first fine rapture of a Semmangudi Srinivasier kutcheri of the previous century.
 
Die-hard worshippers at the altar of Musiri and MS will continue to bemoan the lack of bhava in the 90-minute concerts of the rocking bhagavatars of the day.
 
With the nagaswaram a completely extinct species, nonagenarians will wax lyrical over the peripatetic beauties of the mallari of the past, while the Season will open to piped music from the noble pipe.
 
Five different authentic translations of Subbarama Dikshitar’s Sangeeta Sampradaya Pradarsini will vie for top spot even as the morning lec-demers proceed to mystify audiences on the intricate differences between two ragas that Tyagaraja never composed in.
 
Chitravina Ravikiran will still be defending Oothukadu Venkata Kavi’s claim to a place in the pantheon of Carnatic vaggeyakaras against all comers, while at the same time teaching his first student in outer space.
 
The 500th student from the stable of P.S. Narayanaswamy will ascend the stage during the Season.
 
Bombay Jayashri will reduce her Season commitment to a single concert, and Aruna Sairam will offer the novelty of a concert entirely made up of Carnatic music.
 
There will be no violin accompaniment in many of the concerts, with violinists increasingly taking to vocal music. Instead, a whole new breed of pianists led by Anil Srinivasan will accompany a range of lead artists from vocalists to didgeridoo players.
 
Umayalpuram Sivaraman will enter the Guinness Book of World Records by accompanying a three-year-old child prodigy, while Tiruvarur Bhaktavatsalam will create history by literally breaking the sound barrier.
 
T.M. Krishna will be so busy waging wars of words on subjects as far removed from Carnatic music as the plight of Eskimo children subjected to the tyranny of Bharatanatyam couples invading their land and conducting dance camps for them that he has no time for kutcheris.
 
Pappu Venugopala Rao will rival Sudha Ragunathan in the sartorial grandeur stakes, he for his brilliant kurtas, and she for her astonishing range of saris.
 
Standing ovations at the concerts of centenarian R.K. Srikantan and nonagenarian Nedunuri Krishnamurti, will be the ultimate highlights of the Season, but even they cannot stop the exodus during the tani avartanam.
 
Some things never change.

21 comments:

  1. Hahaha. Love the Aruna Sairam dig. Too much, sir!

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  2. Wow!! Of course the stalwarts with (I'm sure) their robust sense of humour will agree it's with malice towards none.

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  3. Absolutely outstanding to say the least!!!

    T.M. Krishna

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  4. Sir, how about table reservations at fine dining with dishes named after ragas? How about multiscreen webplexes where one can simultaneously savour twenty concerts? How about computer-generated multilingual lyric tracks (Select Thyagaraja Language) on smart notephones? Rasikas will prompt more guffaws than musicians...finally a World Cup among Carnatic NRIs from NZ to Can.

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  5. And a carnatic consultancy services that outsources our carnatic talent to abroad.

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  6. Awesome article... lol.. What about the carnatic competitions??

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  7. i think there will be no audience in the hall, everyone will be watching the concerts live, in their i phones...... i liked this article and lots of laughter..

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  8. Hilarious, no doubt ! but isnt this too prophetic ?

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  9. பேஷ் பேஷ்! நன்னா சொன்னேள் போங்கோ!!!!!!

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  10. I think TMK will be the competition to Sudha in sartorial variety...By the way where is Sanjay in this write-up ?

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  11. exellent & realistic projection!

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  12. Sanjay must have moved to California to tend to his music network, a la Facebook, which lets members play around with his songs, changing ragams, etc in the special App created for him, right ?

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  13. Superb. The Aruna Sairam dig is appropriate.

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  14. Humor is (wild) exaggeration with a hint of truth. This appears to be a serious bit of prophecy. :-) :-)

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  15. Thank you all for your comments.

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